Lizzie Cernik says she's invested a year-and-a-half into her local dating scene, and she's still struggling to find success.
So, the 34-year-old decided to recount her experiences first-person to the Guardian in hopes that someone might be able to show her how to improve her chances of getting anywhere.
She's upfront about the dates that haven't worked, if not, understandably, the identities of the men involved.
There was the aspiring comedian she met on Tinder who proceeded to detail his entire sexual history for Cernik before the main dinner course had arrived at their restaurant table. The man reportedly latched on to one of Cernik's feet and asked if he could lick her toes for the remainder of the evening. She said No and traveled back home musing whether it was possible to shower off her own skin.
A "monosyllabic advertising consultant", a conversation-dominating food thief, and a "Greek racist who would only eat white dairy products" were also in the mix, albeit, again understandably, briefly.
Cernik admits she needs to look at how and why she makes some of the choices she has, but can anyone really blame her for continuing to hope there's a better way than she's found?
One possible avenue, a dating coach advises -- slow down and meet different people for coffee or museum trips: "Anything that doesn’t involve late nights and alcohol is good, as drinking can influence your dating decisions in an unhealthy way and give you false confidence".
Cernik resolves to be more open to meeting new people and exploring other activities and places.
And if Mr. Right doesn't magically appear, she vows to "just keep swimming" until she makes that discovery.