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Mar 21
2019

Do Relationships with Benefits Last...Beyond the Benefits?

Posted by: Jim Lillie

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Jim Lillie

Do Relationships with Benefits Last...Beyond the Benefits?

Three decades after a character in the film "When Harry Met Sally" famously said, “Men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way,” people are still debating whether a no-strings-attached, sex-only relationship is viable.

For some, the answer seems to be a resounding yes.

One such person, Rachel, is described as a bisexual in her early 30s who reports that she's gone through about five years' worth of relationships in which sex was agreed upon, but developing anything further wasn't.

Rachel tells the Guardian newspaper of London that, while she cared about one such male partner, she was not dependent upon his affection, nor did she believe she had responsibilities to him as a friend.

"And we’d have really good sex," she adds.

Rachel reports that she consistently knew where she stood with her male lover since they communicated regularly about expectations and limits.

“When you are in an arrangement like this, you have to talk about things rather than make assumptions, and I really enjoyed how honest we were both able to be," she says, adding, "I found it incredibly freeing that he didn’t ask anything from me.”

According to Rachel, no-strings relationships permit a person to enjoy sex for itself instead of needing to force a deeper meaning out of it. After all, a relationship that starts out as a fun encounter can turn into something that radically changes a person's life if the participants let it -- and that might not be desirable or beneficial.

As for downsides, Rachel can't think of any.

"Sometimes it’s nice to just have sex with someone you like without those assumptions and expectations,” she says.

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